One of the things you need to discuss extensively before marriage is relationship with the “laws”. Discussion is however different from reality but the discussion can be a very useful guide in making decisions going forward. Things to note:

1. They are your family now and take time to understand each person’s personality.

2. Its necessary they (on both sides)give you space to allow both of you understand each other fully. This needs to be mentioned. Don’t assume they will know.

3. Have clear boundaries with your partner and commit to supporting each other.

4. Don’t stop your partner from supporting his /her people financially. If you are concerned that he/she is doing it at the expense of the home, have a discussion with your partner about it.

5. You must learn to ignore some things. You would typically accept those things from your siblings, learn to accommodate some while you calmly explain some.

It may get more complicated depending on how troublesome the in law is but having each other’s back and tolerating some excesses while also making your point clear will go a long way in helping you have a smooth relationship as you go along.